


Calle De Sol

by CherriOnTop



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby!Gabriel, Death of Characters, I skip around a lot, M/M, Not a lot of dialogue, Sad, husbands!Dean and Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:03:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherriOnTop/pseuds/CherriOnTop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They knew that everything would be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol, and nothing bad could happen on the Sun Street." </p><p>Or a story where the name of Dean and Castiel Winchester's street isn't as lucky as they originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calle De Sol

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't exactly have a plan of where this was going when I first started to write this, but somehow it turned into something that I have really enjoyed writing and I hope you enjoy reading it.

It was the middle of July, in the heat of summer, that Castiel Winchester passed out in his and Dean's backyard while tending to the vegetables and flowers of their garden. It was so unexpected that it took his husband a moment to react from where he was cooking burgers on the grill. However, before another moment passed by, Dean was flying down their porch steps and kneeling by Cas' side, putting his husband's limp body in his lap and cradling him to his chest. 

"Baby? Baby? Cas?" Dean's voice was laced with fear as he gently patted the other man's cheek, which was way warmer than Dean thought was safe. Quickly, he racked his brain for everything he could remember about heat stroke and dehydration. He couldn't remember much about either one, but he decided it was safer to take him inside at least where the air conditioning would help cool his body from the high temperature it was currently at. 

Without another moment of hesitation, he scooped the other man into his arms and carried him quickly inside, laying him gingerly on the couch. Carefully, he slipped Cas' arms out of his shirt and tossed it to the side, gently shaking the man again. "Cas? Sweetheart?" Again there was no answer from the other unconscious member. Fearfully, he places his hand back on Cas' forehead, stomach twisting when it still throbbed with heat. 

His teeth worried his bottom lip as he pondered what to do, working on slipping Cas out of the shorts he was wearing, throwing them in the vague direction that the shirt had gone. Again, he pressed a hand to the other man's head, mind spinning on what to do. Was heat stroke the one where he wasn't supposed to apply ice to the skin? And was dehydration the one where he should take Cas to the hospital for passing out? 

After a minute of asking himself questions, he decided to hope it was just dehydration and ran to go grab a glass of water for when Cas came to. Coming back to Castiel, Dean nearly sloshed all the water out of the cup, half of it already down the front of his shirt. He crouched down next to his husband's side, gently trying to shake him awake once more. His mind was in a frenzy, hoping that Cas was alright and that he was just in need of some water. He didn't want to think about if he wasn't and needed further help. 

Suddenly, the blue eyes that Dean desperately wanted to see flew open, his lips parting to take in air. Relieved, Dean cupped his face in his hands, calling softly to him. "Cas? Baby, are you okay?" His shaking hands gently carded through Cas' hair as the other man blinked a couple times, his forehead crinkling. 

"W-What happened?" Cas' voice came out groggy as he struggled to sit up and rub his eyes. Carefully, Dean placed his hands on his lover's back and helped him to sit up, which was greatly appreciated by the darker haired man. 

"You passed out, baby," Dean informed him, pressing a gentle kiss to his husband's still very warm forehead. "Right in the garden. You feel thirsty? Hot?" Cas nodded his head, rubbing his eyes again. "Here, drink this, sweetheart." Dean held the half full glass of water up to Castiel's lips, and the other man drank from it willingly, the cool water soothing his dry throat. 

Once the glass was empty, Dean set it back down on the floor next to him and pulled Cas into his arms, pressing kisses to the top of his head. "You had me really scared, Cas," Dean whispered into his husband's hair. "I didn't know what to do." Cas nuzzled his face into Dean's chest. 

"I'm sorry, Dean. I only wanted to finish watering the garden before getting a drink. I didn't think I was going to pass out from it," he frowned a little. Dean rubbed up and down his arm. 

"It wasn't your fault, baby. We'll just have to be more careful, okay?" Dean's voice was quiet and gentle as he checked Cas' forehead once again. Thankfully it was going down, returning to its normal heat. Cas nodded his head as Dean pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead, releasing him to grab Cas' shirt and shorts. He handed the clothing to his husband, who took them gratefully. "Do you need help putting them on?" 

Cas shook his head as he stood up, feeling a little shaky but has no problem slipping into the articles of clothing. Once the shirt was over his head, Dean wrapped his arms around his beloved and pulled him to his chest, kissing the top of Castiel's head. 

"I'm so glad you're okay," he murmured, gently patting the other man's back. Cas smiled and melted into his husband's embrace, sighing happily. 

"Me too," Cas responded as he closed his eyes and enjoyed being close to Dean. Both of them knew that things were going to be okay-that nothing bad would happen to them because they lived on the Calle De Sol, and nothing bad could happen on the Sun Street. 

~~

Two weeks after Castiel passed out, Sam visited their house in tears. Dean took his brother into his arms the minute he saw Sam's tears and comforted him while Cas went to get coffee and warm blankets to soothe his trembling body. Dean's heart was breaking as he watched his younger brother break down in his arms, clinging to him and sobbing. 

It took the two men nearly half an hour to get him calm enough to talk, patiently holding him and whispering words of encouragement. Finally he was able to tell them that Jess had gotten a promotion at her work and they had to move to Canada so she could continue. Dean, who was saddened by the fact that Sam would have to go away, did his best to tell his brother that this was for the better-that everything would work out even though they wouldn't be able to see each other as much. Sam, however, wasn't so optimistic. 

He continued to blabber on about how little he would see Dean and Cas, and how far away he'd be from all their friends. While Dean didn't really have a perfect solution to solve the problem, Dean tried to tell his little brother that at least they'd be bringing in more money and could get a bigger house, a pet, a new car-whatever they wanted. Eventually it started to work at the mention of getting a dog. 

However, Sam was too distraught to be left on his own yet, so Dean gently persuaded him to stay the night with the two, to which he quickly agreed, not knowing how much time he'd get with them before the move. Together, he and Cas made up the spare bedroom as Sam called Jess to let her in on his plans for the night. 

Dean looked down at the striped bed sheets that were applying to the bed while they worked, keeping eerily silent. Cas' heart ached for his husband, knowing that he wasn't taking this news well. But how could he? Sam-who had been there for almost Dean's entire life-was moving to a different country where Dean would barely see him. 

Sadly, Cas came up behind his distracted lover and wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him tight to his chest. Dean had tensed at first, but then realized it was just Cas and he turned around, looping his arms around the smaller man's frame as well. They sat there and held each other without a word, both feeling sad at Sam's news. Dean's large hands curled around the soft material of Cas' shirt, pressing his face into the soft locks of Cas' hair, refusing to let go of the smaller male. 

Together they stood for several minutes, until Sam poked his head in with a "Jess said I. . .Oh, sorry" and he was gone again, scampering back to the couch. It was only after Sam's head disappeared that Dean reluctantly let go of Cas, leaning down to press a soft peck to the other's lips before they silently finished the bed as a team. 

Once the bed was made, Dean took Cas' hand into his shaky one and they went back out to where Sam was curled up. Dean sat down and once again brought the youngster into his arms as Cas went into the kitchen to make them all some lemonade. While Dean and Sam held each other, they each talked about things they remembered from their childhood, things that made them laugh, things that upset them, things they missed. 

It was then that Dean realized that everything would be okay, that Sam moving wasn't going to be the end of the world. Things would work out because they lived on the Calle De Sol, and nothing bad could happen when they lived on the Sun Street. 

~~

When the leaves began to fall, and the air took a turn to the chilly side, Dean went back to work. He worked at the college as an English professor, and he loved it. Cas liked it, too, because Dean would always come home in nice clothes, and Cas would always worm his way into Dean's lap, tugging on his tie and running his hands through Dean's hair. Dean would kiss him then, too, and it'd escalate quickly into a full on make out session, until Cas' hands had worked Dean to a mess, hair disheveled, buttons open, belt somewhere else in the room. 

Dean would always complain to Cas about it, but he always had a small twinkle in his eye and a slight smile tugging on his lips that let his husband know he wasn't serious. Dean would always excuse himself to take a shower, and Cas would wait until he could hear Dean get inside before he would be up and into the bathroom as well, shedding his clothes and welcoming himself into the steamy water with Dean. 

The green eyed male would open his arms and let Cas into them, holding him close and letting the warm spray wash over them both. It was times like this that Castiel felt happiest with his position in life, that he had a loving husband who cherished him and took care of him and would never let anything happen to him. It was times like this that he never wanted to end. 

So when he checked his watch for what seemed like the thousandth time only to find that two minutes had passed from when he last checked, he became increasingly worried. It was already after eight in the evening, and Dean was late. He was rarely late coming home, telling Cas that he was sick easily of the pesky kids and only wanted to hold his baby in his arms. And even when he was late, he always managed to call Cas or at least slip him a text. But tonight there was nothing. 

The dark haired man worried his bottom lip between his teeth, his fear bubbling in his chest. Surely something urgent had come up and Dean hadn't managed to get a text in to him to let him know. Surely someone had stopped him in the hallway or even in his office and was holding him up. He was willing to believe anything that would calm him in the slightest. 

Several times already he had tried calling his husband, but they all rang out and eventually went to voicemail. He had tried texting, too. Nothing. 

So when his phone lit up with a call, he answered it without even checking who it was, whispering out Dean's name, desperate to find that it was indeed the other man. 

A moment of hesitation passed on the other line before a woman's voice spoke, "is this Mr. Catiel Winchester?" 

Panic swelled in Cas' stomach, so strong that he hadn't even noticed she'd mispronounced his name. "This is him. Who am I speaking to?" His voice was anxious, and both the participants of the conversation could hear it. 

"This is Meg from the local hospital, and we just got a man named Dean Winchester here with his first contact as you." 

Cas felt sick. Was he breathing anymore? Was the shrill noise he was hearing the woman's voice or the own pulsing of his heavy beating heart? Without a word, Castiel listened as Meg informed him that Dean had been in a crash on his way home from work and was injured rather badly. He had broken four or five ribs-Cas couldn't remember with the panic in his mind-and his left arm. His ankle had been fractured as well, and he had received a brutal blow to the head, but she told him that it left no damage, luckily. Statistically speaking, Dean should have died in the accident, yet he had lived and was now at the hospital. 

Castiel stopped listening after that, crying as he tossed his phone randomly at where he thought was the couch, and running to the bedroom to find his shoes. He didn't bother tying them as he raced down the stairs and to the garage, hopping on his bike since Dean had taken the car, and pedaling off as fast as he could to the hospital. He was crying so hard he could barely see where he was going, and probably disobeyed state signs, but he didn't care. All he could think about was getting to the hospital. 

When he finally did, he threw down the bike next to the rack, sprinting inside the building and to the front desk. "Dean Winchester," he was panting, but somehow the woman was able to understand him and direct him in the general area where the man was. Cas' feet pounded on the floor as he ran, and he found himself unable to tell the difference between his footsteps and the frantic beating of his heart. 

Room 63 was just like any other room, but it immediately became his favorite room at the moment because it contained the man that Cas lived and breathed for. The door was open, so Castiel didn't need to worry whether it would slam as he threw it open, skidding into the room, blue, panicked eyes searching for his husband. 

Dean was lying on the bed, several tubes hooked up to him. His arm was wrapped up, and his leg was propped up on a couple of pillows, and his face was bruised, a small cut bandaged on his cheek. His skin was paler than normal, and it sent a fresh wave of tears to Cas' eyes as he hurried over to the beside and took Dean's good hand in his own. 

"D-Dean?" He whimpered out, already full aware that he wasn't going to get a response. Ever so gently, he squeezed the other's hand, using both of his hands to hold Dean's. He looked over at Dean's swollen face, sobbing softly. He hated to see Dean like this, injured and weak, since the man was always the stronger out of the two, comforting Cas when he needed it and keeping his head in tough situations. Cas had always admired his strength, and at this moment he wished he had more of it as he cried, feeling so helpless. 

For a long time, all Cas did was cry, his hands clinging to Dean's as if his life depended on it. He couldn't stop crying no matter how hard he tried to, and eventually he just let the cries leave his lips until there were no more and his eyes could no longer stay open. Only then did he fall under the spell of sleep, slumped over the railing of the hospital bed. 

\--

Castiel didn't wake until he felt a slight twitching in his hands, his eyes springing open quickly and his head lifting so fast he wondered if he had hurt his neck. Blue met green, and it seemed like all the air had left Cas' lungs. Dean offered his husband a weak smile and a small squeeze with his hand, causing tears to spring to Cas' eyes as he dropped Dean's hand and threw his arms around the other's neck. 

"I was so scared," Cas sobbed into Dean's shoulder as Dean's uninjured arm wrapped gently around his back, soft hands rubbing soothing circles into the clothed skin. Cas clung to Dean like a child, feeling majorly relieved that Dean had actually woken up. He was sure that if it had been an issue, the doctors would have told him that it was a possibility that Dean wouldn't ever wake, but no news didn't always mean good news. 

Dean's voice was in Cas' ear, whispering soft and soothing things as he did his best to comfort the distressed man. It only took a few minutes before Castiel's eyes stopped producing tears and his body stopped shaking, allowing him to pull his head away from Dean and stand up fully again. His back ached terribly from the awkward position he had slept in, but he barely noticed it. 

"Hey, baby," Dean said softly, giving his husband a smile. Cas smiled weakly back and took Dean's hand in his own once more. 

"H-Hi, Dean," he whispered, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Dean brought their hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Cas'. 

"You don't look so good, sweetheart. I'm sorry for having scared you." Dean's voice was gentle, soothing, and just what Castiel needed to have his nerves put to rest. 

"It isn't your fault, Dean. I'm sorry you're in a hospital," Cas breathed out, squeezed Dean's hand. They both smiled at each other and realized that it was going to be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol and nothing too bad could happen on the Sun Street. 

~~

For the next several weeks, Cas had to help his husband get in and out of his wheelchair, as well as making sure he got places he needed to go. Castiel would drive Dean to his school every day, and help him get to his room before they would kiss their goodbyes and Cas would go back home to wait for Dean to call him for a ride. 

Cas didn't mind helping Dean, but Dean hated it with every being in his body. He complained constantly, telling Cas that he should be the one to take care of the blue eyed man, not the other way around. But Cas would just reassure him that it was alright, and that it was okay for them to switch every once in a while. Despite his husband's words, Dean still remained bitter about it.

The most trouble the pair had was taking showers. Dean couldn't get his casts wet, and Cas wasn't sure he could help Dean out of the bathtub without one of them hitting their heads or slipping. Dean also had trouble soaping up his hair on his own, to the two started to shower together every time-not that they hadn't done it before, but now there was no exception to showering separately. 

They also struggled with using the bathroom, especially in public places where they only had so much room. Dean easily got frustrated when he couldn't do things on his own, but Cas was always patient with him and helped him even when Dean tried to refuse it. 

Overall they made a pretty good team, and made quick work of getting Dean in and out of the chair. Although neither of them would admit it to one another, they quite enjoyed helping one another out in this way. They quickly realized that it was all okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol and nothing too bad could happen on the Sun Street. 

~~

By the time Dean had healed, the trees had all lost their leaves, and snow covered the surface in a big, cold blanket of white snow. Cas, being the strange man he was, loved to take walks in it, walking around town and watching everything. He especially loved it when the snow fell down in large flakes, sticking in clumps to his hair and eyelashes. 

Dean especially loved when his baby would come home from the walks and he would be lightly dusted in white snow, his cheeks a soft, rosy red and his eyes a bright blue. He'd have the largest smile on his face as he'd tell Dean all about what he'd seen as the taller man unwrapped him from the scarf he was wearing and took his coat, replacing it with a blanket. He loved the way Cas would light up as Dean handed him a steaming mug of hot chocolate and set him down on the couch before they'd cuddle together. They both loved the winter. 

Now, however, it was Christmas Eve and Cas still hadn't gotten Dean anything. They didn't make a huge deal out of the holiday-they limited the gifts to one present each-but they put up decorations and a tree as well. Dean always seemed to get the perfect gift for Cas-one year it had been him asking the blue eyed man if he would marry him-and Cas always tried his best to get something wonderful for Dean. 

So on Christmas Eve, one of the busiest days of the year, Cas was out and about searching for a gift for Dean. The temperature was freezing, below zero, and the wind chill made it even colder, but Cas was determined to find the right gift. Dean was at home, on break from work, and had begged Cas not to go out today in the cold, but Cas had insisted, and Dean didn't have the heart to say no to him. So he had bundled Cas up extra good and let him go. 

So far, Castiel had found nothing that struck him as perfect, and he had been to so many stores already. He was so cold, the wind seeming to seep right through his several coats, but he ignored it the best he could. The wind flung icy particles into his eyes, until he could barely see his own hand in front of him. He worried that he'd get lost in the white snow. 

Suddenly, he felt hands grab the back of his coat and slam him face first into a wall he hadn't seen until just now. He grunted at the rough scratch he knew he'd have from the bricks and tried to see who had him. Before he could catch a glimpse, he was being spun around and his back was being pressed into the freezing brick wall. A gruff looking face was in his own, and a knife was being pressed against his throat, just above his scarf. The metal was colder than anything Cas had ever felt before, and his body began to shake. He wasn't quite sure whether it was because of the cold or the fear that was now growing in his stomach. 

"Hand over your wallet and I won't hurt you," the man spat at him, his eyes locked on Cas. Numbly, Cas reached for his wallet, which was meant to be in his pocket. His gloved hands found nothing there, however, and he realized at once that he must have forgotten it at home in his haste to get out of the house and shop. Dread washed over Cas. 

"I-I don't have it," Cas whispered out, his voice barely heard by the other man. Had he not been leaning into Cas' face, the blue eyed man's voice would have been lost in the wind. 

"Don't give me that," he growled, pressing the blade tighter against Cas' neck. Tears sprang to Cas' eyes as he began to tremble in fear. "Just give it to me and I'll let you go." 

It was then that Cas began to cry. "P-Please, I don't have it. I left it at home. Please don't hurt me." 

This angered the man, for the knife was removed from his neck, and the man's fist was making contact with Cas' cheek. Castiel stumbled and nearly fell over, but the man had grabbed him and punched him another time. This time, Cas tumbled into the white snow under his feet. A foot connected with his side and then his head. Again and again he was hit until he could no longer feel the cold of the air around them. His eyes struggled to remain open at the painful feeling all over his body. 

The man gripped Cas' coat in his hands, pulling their face together. "Where is it?" He snarled. Cas was unable to respond, his body aching from the abuse he had just taken. He desperately wanted Dean to rescue him and scoop him up in his arms. 

Without warning, a sharp pain pricked Cas' stomach, and he cried out in pain. The man dropped Cas and pulled out the knife he had just stabbed into Cas, wiping it off in the snow before he dashed off, leaving Castiel to bleed in the cold. 

\--

Dean paced the living room worriedly. It had been seven hours since Cas had gone out to shop. The sun had set an hour ago, and Cas was never out later than that. He would have called Dean if he got held up, so what was going on? Dean felt worried, afraid that something had happened to his husband. He didn't know if he should go out to look for him, or if he should call the police. He had called Cas several times, with no answer. 

He slammed his phone down as it rang out to voicemail again, going to the closet and grabbing the second heaviest coat they owned. The first one had gone to Cas earlier that day. He wound a scarf around his neck and went out into the cold. He drove around town, looking for Cas. He stopped in every store along the way, asking if they had seen him. Most had, and told him the same thing. He had just come in and looked before leaving, not buying anything. No one knew where he went. 

Dean became more and more afraid as he searched the streets, mostly by foot. If Cas had walked, Dean would be more likely to find him if he walked, too. However, as he searched everywhere he thought Cas might be, he found nothing. The darker haired man was nowhere to be found. 

By the time midnight rolled around, Dean went back home, feeling like he might be sick. It was only getting colder outside, and Dean was desperate to believe that his baby wasn't out there in it. Cas was strong, but he was also very fragile and Dean wanted him back in his arms where he could protect the smaller male. 

Dean checked the whole house to make sure Cas wasn't there, and checked anywhere Cas might have been able to leave a message, only to come up empty handed. It was Christmas Day, and Cas was spending it somewhere alone and possibly in the freezing cold. 

\--

Dean had called the police. It was afternoon on Christmas, and Cas still hadn't shown up. He had considered that Cas was somewhere safe and would laugh at him for calling the police, but he'd rather play it safe for both their sakes. Cas didn't deserve to spend the special day alone. 

It was now three in the afternoon, and there was no new news from the police. He had spent most of the day crying, wanting his husband back in his arms safely. When he wasn't crying, he was pacing the floor, checking his phone every ten seconds. 

Finally, at three thirty, his phone rang. It was a call from the police. "We found a guy in an alley. He looks like he's been here for a long time. He's covered in snow and bleeding pretty badly. He matches your description, though. We're taking him to the hospital now." 

That was all Dean needed to hear before he was taking off to the hospital. He made it in record time, slipping into the lobby. He wasn't allowed to see the man they had found while they worked on stabilizing him, and Dean wanted to scream. If this wasn't his husband, than his baby was still out there somewhere, and every moment he sat here could be in vain. 

It was a few hours later that Dean was even allowed to know the condition the man was in. If they were speaking logically, the man shouldn't even be alive. It felt like déjà vu to Dean from when he was in the accident on his way home from work. 

The man had been beaten nearly unconscious, and then stabbed. He had been trapped in the snow all day and night, until he had been found. His body was frost bitten badly, and he had lost a lot of blood. The doctors told him that the only thing that had kept him from freezing was the jacket around his body. 

\--

Dean was allowed to see Cas an hour later. His husband was awake in the bed, but just barely. His face was bruised all over, and his eyes were nearly swelled shut, making it harder for him to stay awake. Dean felt sick to his stomach, seeing Cas injured like this. He had vowed that he'd protect the man from harm, and here Cas was, beaten in the hospital. 

"B-Baby," Dean whimpered, tears welling in his eyes. Cas' eyes met his, a pained look in both of their eyes. Briskly, Dean stepped to the bedside, taking Cas' hand in his own. "Oh, baby, look at you." Ever so carefully, Dean's hand and fingers caressed Cas' swollen cheek. The other man winced a bit, but didn't complain. 

"I-I didn't get you a present," Cas whispered, tears squeezing out of his black eyes. Dean could have laughed, had he not been so tense. Cas had nearly died, and here he was, worrying over the fact that he hadn't gotten Dean a gift for Christmas. 

"Cas, I don't care that I don't have a physical gift. You're here, safe, in my arms, and that's the best gift in the world. I love you so much, Cas, and I was so worried about you. You could have died out there, and it would have made this the worst Christmas ever. I'm so glad you're okay now." 

Before another word could be spoken, Dean's bitten lips pressed against Cas' cool ones, kissing him softly and gently. Dean knew then that things would be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol, and nothing _really _bad could happen to them on the Sun Street.__

__~~_ _

__Summer was back in full swing, and Cas and Dean found themselves curled up together around a small fire they had built together. Cas was in Dean's lap, and the other man had his arms wrapped tightly around Cas' stomach, under his shirt. His fingers absentmindedly stroked the skin that held his scar from being stabbed last Christmas._ _

__In front of them, the fire crackled, casting light over Cas' face. Dean watched him adoringly, thinking about how lucky he was to be married to the other man. Dean leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the other's cheek, holding him closer. Cas looked up and smiled, cuddling closer into Dean's chest._ _

__It was then that Dean's phone rang, a call from his boss, the principal of the school Dean worked at. He answered it cheerfully, only to have his face fall at whatever the other man said to him. Cas couldn't hear what was being said on the other line, but he didn't like the look on Dean's face. Gently, he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's cheek. Dean gave him a weak smile._ _

__"Yes, sir, I understand. Yes, we will. Of course. No, I'll be alright. Thank you. Have a great night."_ _

__Slowly and silently, Dean set his phone down, staring blankly at the fire. "Dean?" Cas asked softly, feeling a little nervous at Dean's lack of response. "Dean? Is everything okay?" It was a moment before Dean turned to his husband, tears in his eyes._ _

__"I was fired, Cas," he whispered sadly. "They had to cut someone and they chose me. What are we going to do? I'm the only one out of us who had a job, and now…" Cas swallowed thickly, knowing what this meant. He'd have to get a job, too, in order to keep them financially stable._ _

__"It'll be okay, Dean," he reassured, though for Dean or himself he wasn't sure, "we'll be okay. I'll get a job with you and we'll be fine. Maybe they have an opening at the book store or something."_ _

__Dean's arms wrapped tighter around his husband, cradling him to his chest. "I'm sorry, baby, I know how much you like being able to stay at home and get it cleaned up."_ _

__"It's okay, Dean, we don't have a choice. We can't afford to not have me work. It'll be okay."  
Dean only nodded his head a little, stroking Cas' head. And he knew it would be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol and nothing _really _bad could happen on the Sun Street.___ _

____~~_ _ _ _

____Cas had managed to get the job at the book store, and Dean started working for a man named Bobby, who had been a really good friend of Dean's a long time ago. He worked on cars and came home covered in grease and oil, but had a large smile on his face. He was much happier working on this than he had ever been when he was working as a teacher. Cas loved to see his husband this happy again._ _ _ _

____Every night when Dean would come home, he and Cas would take a shower together before they ate something Cas had prepared. Both of them loved their job, and Dean was especially glad that Cas had been able to set his own hours, allowing him to be able to stay home for part of the day. He'd always be working on something around the house when Dean got home._ _ _ _

____Today, however, when he got home, Cas was in their bedroom, curled up under the blankets. For the past several days, he'd developed a bad cough. He'd never admit it out loud, but Dean knew that it was hurting him badly, and causing him to lose his appetite. Dean had been wary about it, and had decided that if he wasn't better by today, he'd take the other to the doctor. They were both in need of a check up anyway._ _ _ _

____So when he found Cas in the bed, he had made up his mind to take him to the doctor. But, when he stepped into the bedroom, he could see immediately that something was wrong. Cas was breathing heavily, sounding congested, and was coughing much harder than he normally was. As Dean approached the bed and crouched down by his side, his eyes widened. Beside Cas' mouth was a bright red patch, dribbling from his husband's lips. Blood._ _ _ _

____"Baby?" He whispered, reaching a shaky hand to the other's forehead, gently stroking the soft skin there. Cas' blue eyes cracked open, and he looked at Dean with a pained expression. "Oh, Cas. Sweetheart, why didn't you call me?" Cas' only response was a weak, raspy cough, droplets of blood escaping his lips. He grimaced at the feeling, whimpering softly. "Come here, babe, we're going to the doctor," Dean said soothingly, carefully picking Cas up in his arms. Feebly, the man wrapped his arms around Dean's neck._ _ _ _

____The green eyed man spoke softly to Cas as he carried him to the car, picking up a box of tissues on his way out. Very gently, he set Cas in the passenger side of the car, plucking out a tissue and using it to wipe at the blood trickling from his husband's lips. It surprised him how calm he was in this situation. He handed a new tissue to Cas and rounded the car, getting in and driving off._ _ _ _

____Castiel's hands shook as he coughed, making sure to press the tissue to his mouth to make the smallest mess possible. Dean reached over and took Cas' free hand, squeezing softly. Cas squeezed back faintly, leaning his head back against the seat. Dean felt rather nervous to find out what was wrong with his husband. He didn't let himself think that anything too bad was wrong._ _ _ _

____When they reached the hospital, Dean picked Cas up again, making sure he had the tissues. He carried the man into the building and asked to see someone. They waited anxiously for a few minutes, Cas coughing several times into the tissues._ _ _ _

____Finally they were able to see a doctor, and Dean had to wait in another room while the doctor checked Cas out. It took nearly an hour before the doctor came out, frowning. Dread made its home inside Dean's chest. His throat tightened, but somehow he was able to croak out a "what's wrong?"_ _ _ _

____"I'm afraid your husband has lung cancer, Mr. Winchester," she told him, giving him a sympathetic look. Dean felt like all the air had left his lungs. "We need permission to advance with tests to see how bad it is. Are we allowed to do that?" Numbly, Dean nodded his head. Was the world spinning or was it just Dean's vision that was? And did the world just go completely silent or was it just Dean?_ _ _ _

____Before Dean had the chance to ask the doctor, he had passed out on the floor._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____As it turned out, Cas was only stage two of lung cancer, and lucky for the both of them, it could easily be removed with surgery. They scheduled it to the following day, and they stayed overnight in the hospital. The doctors had been able to give Cas a drug that would help with the pain in his lungs. Unfortunately, it caused the man to be sleepy and Dean had told him to go to sleep. It was nearly midnight now, and Dean couldn't fall asleep._ _ _ _

____He had pulled up a chair next to Cas' bedside and was holding his hand, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. His mind was spinning with nervousness for the next day, fearing the worst but letting himself be hopeful. He hadn't thought about what he'd do if the surgery didn't fix Cas' cancer._ _ _ _

____Cas' cancer. It was strange for Dean to think that the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was sick and could possibly die. It was surreal to think that he might spend the rest of his life alone. He wouldn't find someone else to love, that much he knew for sure. Cas was the only one for him, and that wouldn't change even if for some crazy reason Cas died._ _ _ _

____Sighing softly, Dean looked down at his husband and squeezed his hand softly. Castiel looked so peaceful, it was hard for Dean to imagine the killer disease inside his lungs. A disease that, if it spreads, could make his baby go through misery. Dean would give anything to trade places with Cas at this moment._ _ _ _

____Dean leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Cas' temple, his lips lingering on the skin. "I love you, baby," he whispered. Then he leaned back in his chair to get cozy to watch Cas throughout the night._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____The surgery went well. The tumor was removed from Cas' lungs, and was completely gone. Dean couldn't help smiling as the doctors told him this, and that Cas would be able to come home the following day. Cas, too, was excited to hear the good news, despite how exhausted he was from the surgery. Dean let them celebrate for a few moments with their mouths before he told his husband to sleep, and that they'd be able to go home sooner if he passed time that way. Cas immediately agreed._ _ _ _

____Dean sat at Cas' bedside and stroked the blue eyed man's hand, a grin lighting up his face. He realized then that everything would be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol, and nothing _completely __horrible _could happen on the Sun Street.___ _ _ _ __

______~~_ _ _ _ _ _

______A month after Cas' surgery, Jess showed up on their doorstep with a small, blue bundle in her arms and tears streaming down her cheeks. Immediately, Dean let her in, and Cas took the baby from her, as her hands were trembling too bad hold him properly._ _ _ _ _ _

______She was hysterical, and kept mumbling over and over, "he's dead, he's dead, he's dead." Dean had her sit on the couch, feeling déjà vu with when Sam had came over, and tried to calm her down as Cas held the baby._ _ _ _ _ _

______Finally, when she was calm enough, Dean was able to ask her who she was talking about, and when she answered, he almost wished she hadn’t. It was Sam who had died, in a house fire. He had instructed Jess and their son to evacuate before he had gone back inside. For what, Jess didn't know, but he never returned back to her. The house had collapsed with him inside._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jess hadn't known what to do as the firefighters tried in vain to put out the fire that was climbing steadily higher. She had gotten into her car and drove off before the ambulance had arrived, and had no clue where she was going for several hours. Her hands seemed to have been driving back to their old house, and before she knew it, they lead her to Dean and Cas' house instead. It was a miracle that she hadn't gotten into an accident because she was crying so much._ _ _ _ _ _

______While she told the story, Dean broke down into tears and wept. It wasn't often that he cried, but when he did, it was always the most heart wrenching thing Cas ever had to witness. Cas tried his best to comfort Dean while holding the child, but it was hard to do, and Jess didn't seem to want to take her son back. So, awkwardly, Cas wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulders and rubbed his shoulder. He knew there was nothing he could do to try and heal this pain. The loss of his brother would forever haunt him._ _ _ _ _ _

______For hours, Dean and Jess cried over the news, and Cas struggled to keep the baby asleep and comfort them both. Soon the baby awoke and started crying, and no amount of rocking could make it stop. Cas was quickly overwhelmed by all the crying around him that he, too, began to cry as he tried to hush the small boy in his arms. He still didn't know its name, and he assumed that Dean didn’t either, as he and Sam hadn't been talking much recently, both too busy with their own things._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eventually the baby calmed and fell asleep in Cas' arms as Jess fell asleep against the arm of the couch, and Dean drifted in and out of consciousness against Cas' leg. Castiel was exhausted already, and he really wanted to get up and find a bed for the child, but he knew he couldn't do that without waking Dean, and he definitely wasn’t going to do that._ _ _ _ _ _

______So he sat there all night and held the baby, knowing that if he stirred too much, he'd wake one of the other three. There wasn't even enough room for him to lay down anyway, so he stayed where he was and watched the tiny bundle of life in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _

______\--_ _ _ _ _ _

______Time ticked on, and things still hadn't fallen into a habit. Jess and her child, which was named Gabriel, had moved in with them temporarily. But to Dean, it seemed like they were there to stay. It was hectic in the Winchester household, and neither Dean nor Cas could see the end of it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jess was overcome with grief for her husband's passing, and spent most of her time in the spare bedroom, crying into her hands, or her arms, or the pillow. She rarely saw her baby, and even when she did, she just sat there with him in her arms and stared at the wall. Cas had stepped up to do most of the work of taking care of Gabriel, and had to cut some of his hours at work to find enough time to make sure he was alright._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean was slowly becoming annoyed at Jess because she didn't offer to help Cas with the house work, she was neglecting her son, and she hadn't spoken about getting a job. The two husbands' jobs paid well enough for them both to live off of, but it didn't cover the four of them, and their money slowly began to dwindle, having to provide for them all._ _ _ _ _ _

______Cas was quickly becoming worn out, as he had never learned how to take care of a child before, and Dean had to take extra shifts at his work in order to pick up the slack from Cas' end. They rarely got to see each other, and when they did, Dean was checking on Jess and Cas was caring for Gabriel. Neither had ever wanted a child, and they were quickly learning why._ _ _ _ _ _

______Constantly they would be woken in the night, and usually it was Cas who went to comfort Gabriel, as the child had grown to be familiar with him. Dean would take Castiel into his arms when he finally crawled back into the bed, and he'd spoon him from behind as he rubbed small circles into his husband's stomach as he kissed Cas' bare shoulders. That was nearly all the contact they had time for as they ran around trying to make everything okay._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was exhausting and unpleasant, but they both realized that it would be okay because they lived on the Calle De Sol and nothing _completely horrible _could happen on the Sun Street.___ _ _ _ _ _

________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Very slowly, Cas and Dean began to make things work again in their household. They managed to remain financial stable while supporting the two extra guests. It was around that time that Cas started to get his cough back, though he tried to hide it from Dean. It was just a cold, he told himself. They were already under so much stress, Dean didn't need to worry about this, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Only, during the night it was very hard to cover it up when Dean was pressed against his back and was very aware of even every breath Cas took. Somehow, he was able to hide it for a couple of days, until the blood started coming out with his coughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He came to Dean at work one day when he got into a nasty coughing fit that resulted in him spewing blood all over himself. Dean was surely surprised to see him, and he was extremely worried about the red substance that was covering the front of his husband. He dreaded to know what it was, but he couldn't help but ask what it was as he took Cas into his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's back," was all that he could manage to choke out before Dean had gathered Cas into his arms and whisked him to the car, heading back to the hospital. He had called Jess on the way, but she hadn't answered him, and it didn't surprise Dean at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Castiel's lung cancer had come back, and this time it looked worse. It was still stage two, but the other subdivision-the worse of the two. It had begun to spread to other areas of the lung, and the doctors weren't sure they could remove it with surgery this time, not without causing him major pain in the process. Neither of the two men wanted that, so they ruled it out of their option. Together, they talked for a long time on which of the options Cas wanted to do. Dean wasn't going to not let him do anything and just let it destroy Cas' lungs. He was going to fight for Cas' life because if anyone deserved to live a good, long life, it was Cas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cas, however, wasn't all for any of the options. He knew there'd be side effects to all of them, and he didn't want to have to deal with them. He also didn't want the hospital bills to send them into debt, especially if Cas were to die. He was willing to just let the cancer take over his body and kill him slowly. And that broke Dean' heart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Luckily for Dean, he was able to talk Castiel into doing chemotherapy, and Cas had agreed reluctantly. He didn't want to upset Dean by saying no, and he realized that maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be so bad._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________What Cas liked best was that he was able to go home and give himself his own injections. He hated to be in the hospital more than he had to, as it made everything seem so much more real. But what he didn't like was that Dean had to start working weekends to try and get money saved for when the hospital bills would roll in. He and Cas saw even less of each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With his cough and all his side effects, Cas started to grow too sick to be able to fully take care of Jess and Gabriel, and often spent most of his time in his bed. It infuriated Dean that Jess still wasn't stepping up to help out and complained when Cas couldn't do things he used to._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He had managed to keep his cool for a few days, but when Cas' hair began to fall out and he began to cry in grief, and Jess _still _complained, Dean snapped. He raised his voice as he held his sick husband and told Jess that Cas was and had been doing his very best to take care of the child that didn't even belong to him and how he was taking care of a woman who was perfectly taking care of herself.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He yelled at her and told her how immature she was being and how they had been taking care of them for the last month without a single thank you or complain. He went off on her until Cas was sobbing in his arms from a headache that Dean's loud voice was causing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The house went quiet, save for Cas' cries, and then in a low voice, Dean commanded Jess to take her baby and go find someone else to live with. Jess had looked shocked and disbelieving until Dean repeated his "get out" again, and she scrambled to collect her things and Gabriel. Then she was gone, leaving Cas and Dean there in the middle of the room, holding onto one another._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As time went on, Cas only seemed to get worse. Dean felt like he was pulled in two different directions, wanting to spend as much time as he could with Cas, and also needing to work as much as he could to keep them both alive. Cas never complained, though, and told Dean that they would always have the nights to cuddle together. However, Dean still wanted to spend more time with Cas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________So Dean asked Bobby about it, and he said that Dean should spend more time with Cas because no one knew for how long the man would be around. Dean thanked Bobby and took time off to stay home with his husband. Cas had complained at first, knowing that it would put them in debt, but deep down he was grateful for it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They spend most of their time cuddling on the couch or the bed and some days Dean and Cas would cook together, making baked goods that made the house smell good. Cas would have a smile on his face the whole time, and Dean would laugh at silly things that Cas would do. They were both extremely happy every day, and it was almost easy to forget that Cas was dying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________However, it didn't last forever, and a few days later, Cas felt like he was suffocating when he woke up in the bed one morning. Dean rushed him to the hospital before the sun had even rose, and the doctors were able to take him in straight away. Dean waited in distress for hours, his hands running through his hair and rubbing over his face. He paced the room, but never left, afraid that if he did, the doctor would need him with news about Cas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________After what seemed like years, the doctor called his name. She told him sympathetically that Cas' lungs had started to fill up, and that it was something they could drain. But what came next made Dean weak in the knees. Cas' cancer was spreading quickly, and had managed to spread to the other lung as well as start towards other parts of his body, such as heart and brain. There wasn't a whole lot the doctors could do to help him, but had agreed to change up the chemicals in Cas' chemotherapy treatments to see if it would work._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Cas was able to go home after that, and Dean spent every moment he could with the other man, gently caressing his husband's face and body. Sometimes he'd sing to Cas, or hum when the man couldn't sleep at night. By now, all of Cas' hair had fallen out, but Dean made sure to reassure Cas that he was still the most beautiful person he'd ever seen in his life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Castiel became weak and had to spend most of his time sitting down, finding out quickly that he became breathless when he was on his feet for too long. Dean was very careful about making sure Cas wasn't standing a whole lot in one period, and always made sure that Cas got enough breaks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When they went to the grocery store together, Dean always put Cas in the cart as he pushed it. Cas didn't mind, though, and particularly enjoyed the treatment he was receiving from his husband. Neither of them wanted to mention to the other that this was how it could be for the rest of Cas' life. It was looking grim for Castiel's survival, but both of them prayed for a miracle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Cas was in the hospital again. He was only getting worse. The cancer had taken over his body, and there was no way he was going to make it out of it alive. Neither man mentioned it, but just sat there and looked at each other with silent tears streaming down their cheeks. Their hands were together, fingers entwined. Neither wanted to be the first to let go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Cas' days were limited, they both knew it, but they were also too stubborn to acknowledge it. They were going to hang on to the hope that they'd still get a miracle and Cas would be able to live. It was an impossible hope, but didn't give it up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The following day, they came to the decision that they would take Cas home from the hospital. He'd never return back to it, and that was what they both wanted. If Cas was going to die, Dean wanted him to go inside the walls of their home, and Cas wanted to be in Dean's arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean carried Cas out of the building, and all the way to the car. Neither of them spoke, but they didn't need to. They were both upset, but at the same time, they were cherishing every moment they had left together. Dean knew he wasn't going to leave Cas' side until the air left his husband's lungs, and Cas knew that he couldn't go anywhere without Dean, so they'd have no trouble being together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They drove in silence, not even letting the radio be on. Cas watched the scenery go by, knowing this would probably be the last time he'd get to see it. Dean took the long way home, the path that went through the local apple orchard so Cas could see it one last time. He knew how much Castiel loved seeing all the pretty white flowers blooming as summer rolled in. Now, however, there were red, ripe apples hanging onto the branches, and the air smelled so sweet that they could smell it before they even opened the windows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Once the orchard was behind them, Dean took Cas to the river, and even stopped to take his husband down to the water's edge. Cas' thin fingers reached out and touched the cool liquid, and Dean held his waist tightly so he wouldn't fall in. Cas had a small smile on his face the whole time, letting the sweet breeze blow through the clearing. Dean let Cas stay there until he was shaking and shivering with cold despite the warm air around them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________So Dean picked him up and took him back to the car, driving home. When they arrived there, Dean once again scooped Cas' frail body into his arms and carried him into their bedroom, where he proceeded to lay Castiel very carefully down on the bed. Then Dean covered him with a warm and fuzzy blanket before he crawled in beside his husband._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Gently, he curled his arms around Cas' small frame, pulling the other man flush against his chest. Cas' head found its way into the crook of Dean's neck, and Dean's hands found the base of Cas' back to hold, his fingers curled around his husband's sides. It brought tears to his eyes as he held Cas, who was slowly starting to wither away with the cancer. Cas wasn't one of the physically strong people, but to see him this weak nearly killed Dean._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They laid in silence for a long time, just content with being this close to each other and holding one another in their arms. Cas had pressed his ear to Dean's chest and listened to his strong heartbeat, while Dean listened to every raspy breath that entered into Cas' sick lungs. Dean wondered how much longer he'd be able to hear the heart wrenching sound._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Suddenly, Cas lifted his head and looked up at his husband. "Dean, your birthday is in six days," he whispered, looking somewhat distressed. Gently, Dean lifted a hand to stroke the other's cheek, giving a weak smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Yes, it is. What about it?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I won't be here for it," Cas frowned, his forehead creasing. Dean's chest constricted painfully, his thumb gently rubbing the crinkles away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Don't say that, baby," he half whimpered, "you might still be." He knew he was wrong-they both did-but Dean was desperate to believe that the love of his life wasn't dying. That he'd have him around for this last full year._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Neither said anything for a long time, staring in one another's eyes instead. Dean's fingers were shaky and gentle against Cas' cheek, and Cas' own hands were holding tight as they could to Dean's shirt. Nothing needed to be said between the two, their eyes said enough. The clock in the hallway chimed, letting the pair know that it was already nearing evening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Finally, Castiel spoke softly, and Dean had to lean in to hear him. "Dean?" The silence stretched again for a moment as Cas' cheeks blushed a soft pink. "I know we probably shouldn't, but will you make love to me? One last time?" Dean's breath caught in his throat as he looked at his sick husband. He, too, knew that it could be damaging to Cas, but how could he deny something for Cas, who had limited time left to be alive? Slowly, Dean nodded his head, unable to use words at the moment. Cas looked relieved._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'll be very gentle, okay?" Dean whispered, eyes looking at his husband for confirmation. The blue eyed man nodded his head, so Dean leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Cas' lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As soon as the deed is done, Dean pulls out of Cas carefully, and wrapped the other in a blanket. He's not sure how Cas' body is going to react to it all, but he wants to be prepared. Already Cas' breathing is labored, and his cheeks are flushed a pretty red, but he's got a silly smile looped on his kiss swollen lips. It's enough to reassure Dean that he's going to be alright, and that he wasn't going to die in the next few seconds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Gently, Dean presses his lips to Cas' forehead, then his cheeks, his nose, and finally, right on his lips. Their lips are both soft against one another, hands cupping one another as they move closer, naked bodies lightly coated with sweat pressed against one another. Their kisses are never rough, rather filled with passion and a desire to have a time longer than what they know they have. They're time is almost up and they both know it, but neither voices it aloud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When they pull back from one another's lips, they're both smiling widely at each other. Dean's teeth are nearly pushing out from beneath his lips, and Cas' eyes have a sparkle that Dean has always loved to see. Neither can seem to get enough of the sight in front of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean's mapping out the beautiful man he's lucky enough to call his husband and hold in his arms, taking in every detail that he's ever noticed about the blue eyed man. The way his eyes hold a dancing light whenever he sees Dean. The way his lips are always subconsciously quirked up in a smile when he's happy. The way Dean can make his face brighten._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It's crazy how much Dean loves this man, and how much he'd sacrifice to keep him around. He loves the way that Cas fits in his arms, legs tangled together, Dean's arms around Cas' waist, and the other's around Dean's neck. Castiel's head fits perfectly into the crook of Dean's neck, his breath tickling the other man's neck, his hair brushing over Dean's chin. Sometimes Dean lets his fingers run over Cas' back, to watch him shiver at the warmth and snuggle closer to Dean. Other times he likes to gently massage Cas' shoulders, leaving the muscles relaxed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean also loves it when Cas is in the kitchen, and he's making some kind of dessert. Dean would always come behind him and wrap his arms around the smaller man's waist, and lay his chin on Cas' head. Cas would let out a giggle and Dean would smile goofily before he'd watch Cas get back to work as if Dean wasn't even there anymore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean's going to miss when Cas is out in the garden, and he's picking weeds or checking their plants for food. Dean would always sit by the open window and listen as Cas talked to his plants when he thought no one was listening to him. Dean would smile and think about what a dork Castiel is. But Dean wouldn't trade him for the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He doesn't know what he's going to do when Cas is gone. He was always the most positive out of the pair, choosing to look at the bright side rather than the dark. Dean doesn't see how he's able to keep his head up through all this when Dean feels like he's dying inside with Cas. The only way he's still able to smile is because Cas manages to do it, and if the blue eyed man can, than Dean thought he should be able to. It's not that hard when he forgets that Cas is sick._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean's hands are running along Cas' bare skin as he thinks about everything. He's not sure if Cas is awake or asleep, but it doesn't matter because he is too lost in thought to talk to him anyway. He knew that he'd be content with never moving from this spot as long as Cas was able to live longer. It was impossible, but it made Dean feel better to think that it was possible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ever so gently, Cas' head is shifting to look up at Dean, a small smile on his pink, puffy lips. He's the most beautiful man Dean's ever seen in his life, and he knows he'll never find anyone else who could come ever close to how beautiful he was now in this moment. Their eyes meet for a moment, a soft, matching gleam in both of their eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And suddenly, Dean's lips are on Cas' again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It's nearly midnight now, but neither man is sleepy. Castiel's breathes have become shorter and quicker, taking on a more raspy feature to them. Still, neither mentions it, but Dean keeps a close hold on his husband. It's getting closer to being time. Cas is afraid, they both know it. Of course he is-no one wants to die. Not for real._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean's hands play with what little is left of Cas' hair, twisting it gently through his trembling fingers. He's not ready to say goodbye to the love of his life, doesn't think he ever will be. Cas is tense, curled with Dean, struggling to breathe. It hurts Dean to see and hear him like this. He wished more than anything that he could take it away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean starting to cry, silent tears slipping down his cheeks as he starts to cling to Cas as if his life depended on it. Cas is crying, too, lifting his head up to look at his husband. They're both afraid, not wanting to lose one another. Dean opens his mouth. He wants to tell Cas everything that he loves about him. He wants to tell him that he's never going to find anyone who could even compare to how wonderful Cas is. He wants to tell Cas that he's going to miss him and want him back every day for the rest of his life. He wants to tell Cas just how much he's been blessed to have Cas in his life. But what comes out of his mouth is none of these things. Instead, his voice is soft and he's singing quietly to Cas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________"Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with mine." _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Cas lets out a choked whimper, recognizing the song straight away. But how could he not? It was the song that was playing when they had first met, when Dean had moved into the apartment next to him. He had come over to Cas' to introduce himself, only to stop and listen to the other singing to Open Arms by Journey, which was playing through his speakers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________"Softly you whisper, you're so sincere. How could our love be so blind?" _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Dean's fingers caress Cas' cheeks as he sings, brushing away the tears that are ever flowing from his husband's eyes. Cas' breathes are getting more raspy, and Dean knows he doesn't have enough time to finish singing the song before the last breath would be drawn from his lips that seemed to be turning paler by the second. In fact, Cas' whole body seemed to be losing color. All but his eyes, which shone the bright blue that Dean wanted to see every time he closed his own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________"So now I come to you, with open arm. Nothing to hide, believe what I say."__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He's skipped a whole line, they both know it, and it suddenly hits both of them that this is it. This is the last few moments they have with each other. Neither are ready for this, wouldn't ever be ready for it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________"So here I am, with open arms. Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me. Open arms." _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Dean's voice is trembling and unsteady, and it's obvious, but Cas doesn't care. It's hard to tell over how hard he's breathing. His chest hurts, and his throat feels puffy, but he isn't ready to go yet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________"Wanting to hold you, wanting you near. How much I wanted you home." _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Cas can't feel anything but the beating of his heart, which is rapidly slowing. Dean's voice is the only thing he can hear-the only thing he ever wants to hear again. He's sure he's still crying, but he's unable to know for sure if he is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Dean can see it before it happens-Castiel's last breath. His husband is shuddering below him and wheezing horribly, and it's tearing Dean apart inside, but he tries to remain calm as he delivers the line of the song that he wants Cas to know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________"Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me. . ." _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Dean's never cried so much as he cried the day of Cas' funeral. His heart was heavy and broken, twisted in ways he didn't know was possible. He never imagined that he'd be standing at Cas' grave, sobbing against the marble headstone. The guests had dispersed hours ago, but Dean hadn't moved since then, clinging to his husband's headstone. There hadn't been many people there, and Dean had felt grateful. Everyone there tried to tell him that they knew that he was going through, but he knew that none of them really did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Dean felt incomplete, like a piece of him was missing. It was Castiel without a doubt, and Dean knew that he'd never have that piece back. Others could try and fill it in, but there'd always be cracks where they couldn't match up with Cas. And Dean didn't want it to be gone completely. He wanted to feel the pain of Cas' departure. It reminded him that Cas was real, and that Cas was the best thing in his life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Cas' grave was decorated with pretty flowers of all colors, wrapped in big bouquets and tied with cheap ribbon. There was also a picture of Cas on the grave that someone had brought. It was of him and Dean. The blue eyed man had taken it without Dean's knowledge as they decorated the Christmas tree from a few years ago. Cas' eyes shined bright, the kind that only happened when he was with Dean. Dean loved the picture, but now it only made him cry harder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He, too, had brought Cas some flowers. Only, his were more special. Not only were they Cas' favorite flowers-daisies-but they were also carefully picked from the garden that both of them had taken care of. They were tied with a strip of cloth from one of Cas' favorite shirts. One that had gotten too ratty for him to wear anymore. They were placed next to the picture frame and stood out from all the rest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Dean wanted to talk to Cas' grave, but in that moment, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. He was overcome with grief. He didn't want to grieve Cas forever, though. He wanted to be able to celebrate the time that they had shared, and how much he loved the other man. But for now and probably for days to come, maybe even weeks, Dean would sob his eyes out with sorrow. He didn't think he could bring himself to do otherwise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The skies were overcast with dark clouds, and without another moment of hesitation, they poured down on Dean as he cried, drenching his black suit with the water. It would probably make Dean sick if he stayed out for too long, or get his rental dirty with the forming mud under his knees, but Dean couldn't bring himself to care about either at the moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________It suddenly hit him that everything was _not _going to be okay because the Calle De Sol was just another street, and the Sun Street had lost its sun.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
